


scarred

by Adriada



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Explicit Language, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Disintegration, Mental Institutions, Suicide Attempt, Translation, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:39:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5614231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adriada/pseuds/Adriada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally written in Russian for Cicero.lover; one-sided Joseph Oda/Sebastian Castellanos, rated Mature for suggestive themes, mentions of suicide and suicidal behaviour, as for gore mentions and expressive language; this is one of ideas I had about post-TEW2 ending and which Cero asked me to share. There is no happy ending here, and yes, I am a sick person with high expectations from sequel. If there ever will be one.<br/>My idea is that Joseph was used as test subject for new STEM program to be an exchange for Ruvik and Leslie because of his understanding of STEM and ability to feel Ruvik. He was saved in my scenario before Mobius extracted his brain to control it even better and to find possessed Leslie before team Sebastian + Juli, but they were faster and actually because of info Joseph was able to find and feel</p>
            </blockquote>





	scarred

It’s forbidden to smoke in this mental hospital, especially in the private offices, but Joseph Oda’s personal doctor makes an exception to one of his visitors. Doctor Plum (’please, call me Samuel, it’s not like it’s any use to follow the rules in this case’) himself finds it soothing, how he on his own obeys the rules, but smoke from detective’s cigarettes creeps into the lungs, mutes the emotions at the same time helps him to focus on his work. Reports which are written under it's influence are exceptional. He also likes the brand senior detective smokes. Samuel thinks that he needs to change his ‘Pall Mall’ for ones that Castellanos uses, but can never find a courage to ask for the name. It would even make an uncomfortable conversation, knowing what hell Sebastian’s partner and his patient had gotten himself into. And he asks for a brand name? Ridiculous. When Plum looks at detective, who’s frowning even deeper than usual after today’s unfortunate event, he thinks that Castellanos also got himself into the same hell as Oda.

Sebastian’s teeth crumples the tip of his cigarette and oh how he hates the taste of it. His tongue burns a bit, and he’ll probably will throw away the whole pack of these goddamn cigarettes later. But now, right now it somehow soothes him. Blunts the pain in his chest.

In his ears still rings mocking, half-mad laughter and enticing words of Joseph: _“Seb, would you please fuck me on this bed? And then fuck my head up against the tabletop? And again? And again! Until it would split open and my brain would be open an naked to others eyes, like it already is to Mobius; what do you say?”_

Sebastian still can see the image of a broken man as if he’s in front of him. Arms dug their nails into each others surface, leaving white marks, an entire net of them – they look even whiter than Oda’s pale skin, how is it even possible? Joseph’s more like an animal after STEM experiments, wild and shameless. Sometimes Oda rubs his hips against a sheet, daring to move forward to the partner with more and more and more words. He almost never lets Sebastian to talk, and detective doesn’t know why he lets him, because he should be helping, right? But he can’t. Not when Joseph, so tormented and broken because of him not appearing faster, is in front of him and talks to him both with love and accusations.

Through the fabric of his pajama bottoms everything is visible, and Sebastian has trouble looking away from the bulge and stains appearing on top of it. He’s feeling shameful and burning, and turns away from Joseph completely when through his monologue he ceases to torment his arms and lets them drop and start stroking tense member. His words are more maniacal then, even frantic.

_“Shove a knife into me, right under the rib cage; shove your arm into the wound and till you feel my heart. Reach for it, squeeze it, feel me, let me do the same thing to you, give both of us happiness, give us the love and the real truth about the price of life!”_

Even more difficult it is to look him in the face. Hair frames it, grown, messy, greasy most the times, falls on the shoulders, with white and grey strands here and there. He has stubble even. Lips swollen, bitten, corners of them torn and blood drawn. Eyes ... not hidden by glasses. Swollen, red, especially crazy. Dangerous.

_“Seb, why I can’t now change the STEM script, what do you think? They’ve found Ruvik and shoved him back again? Or are we... outside? And you are actually real?” – here he fails to talk, breathes heavily, hands touching his throat, staring into the corner of the chamber, thinking, understanding, eyes almost becoming clearer; then wicked smile touches his lips again: “Ooh, or I finally broke down, and I want you to find me, save me, treat me, love me", – a muffled sob, hysterical laugh after, “fuck me into the hospital bed for everyone to see that I am yours, then for you to pick me up and burn memories that burden us until only ashes remain, right? Right?!”_

Usually after these monologues Joseph either twists himself in fetal pose, clasping his knees with his hands, falling face in the sheets, the laughter cut off and he breathes hard, the sweat dripping and staining his pajama and sheets; or throws his head back, laughter drawling, stretches with all his body, without any embarrassment how his clothes often slip off the frame.

_“Let's invite Kidman; she's such a good girl, isn’t she? I can probably re-introduce her with my axe. She liked the last time, didn’t she? She... she’s... Mobius whore!! – he spits, words poisonous, – I’ll fuck her, with my axe’s fucking handle, I will try to shove it into her until wood block will hit her entrance, and I will shove further till it fucking sticks out of her belly!! Do you hear me, Kid?! You hear me?!”_

Juli visited Joseph personally only once – and it was enough. Sebastian had to intervene to detach man’s fingers one by one from Kidman’s throat he clutched with a death grip. She was crying silently, with only weak coughs escaping her, mouthing ‘sorry’ over and over again. Had heavy, deep purple bruises after, and watched former friend only from afar or behind a one-way glass.

_“There will be no improvements, and there will be no deteriorations, because we haven’t got out, Seb, do you understand? We’re still stuck so let us in any way feel better, Seb, oh Seb, please make me feel again, lay me down on the barb wires, slide a dozen ten-inch needles into me, bite me, touch me, just do ANYTHING!!!”_

It was one time when Joseph nearly got what he wanted – hands frantically unclasped his belt buckle, jerked his pants down, and Sebastian only looked pitiful and detached while other’s face was against him, foreheads touching, Joseph looking both like a stranger and dearest friend. Moments later Oda was dragged away by orderlies, put into straitjacket. Castellanos was removed from visiting list for month after that.

But today. What happened today may be called an... improvement? Castellanos dents filter into the glass, pulls out another cigarette, lights it, drags. In the ashtray there are six more cigarette filters, and this one will be the seventh and last.

No. That event can’t be called an improvement. Today Oda nearly committed suicide. But today he also was himself, when Sebastian, swearing and cursing at him, pulled Joseph out of the noose made out of sheets. He was himself while he was coughing and clutching at Sebastian’s hands, and the crying finally didn’t break into hysterical laughter, but was sincere and felt like breath of fresh air after being nearly drowned.

_“Seb, Seb, S-Sebastian, forgive me, Sebastian, Sebastian”, - man cries in his arms while he strokes back of other’s head, feels his fingertips touch scar of STEM connector. It is not the first time Sebastian understands, but the first time he finally **feels** the horror Joseph experienced; scar is disfigured and deep in skin, much worse than the tiny dotes on Castellanos own neck. He makes his partner bury head in his shoulder. Oda hiccups: “It-it's all real? I-I really am alive?.. Not a brain pulled out of my head... not a ghost of STEM ... but a living, breathing, feeling person? Oh God. God, Seb-Sebastian, forgive me...”_

Sebastian remembers then the brain and consciousness of Ruvik last time he saw it. He recalls the blood flows that gushed from his wounds. Imagines, how it is now happening with Joseph as his consciousness splits, peels, his blood oozing from the many wounds Ruvik, STEM and Mobius caused, the wrong hands touch the edges but can’t close them and stop the disruption . 

Sebastian’s eyes sting. He has a feeling of another wave of blood coming and swallowing him whole.

_“Seb”, - says Oda minutes later in another voice when he becomes quieter._

_“Slit my carotid artery”._

Last cigarette is crushed against ashtray glass.


End file.
